Mommy and Money Issues: Series 1

Mommy and Money Issues: Series 1 appeared first on Goal Digging to Happiness!
Mommy and Money Issues: Series 1 appeared first on Goal Digging to Happiness!

Right now valued readers of GDTH, I’m struggling internally. Here is why.  My Big Girl (BG) just got a job!  I still tear up when I think about the fact that she can work now.  Literally, she was hired on January 8, 2016.  She worked Wednesday 1/13, Saturday 1/16, Sunday 1/17, and was supposed to return Tuesday 1/19.  On Tuesday 1/19 she contacted the supervisor and quit.

BG let me know the night before.  We had a long talk text about her decision.  She says that she thought it would interfere with her semester because she is taking 3 core classes necessary to graduate. She also said the environment made her anxious, her supervisor’s were unsupportive and sat in the back of the store on their phones, and her crew members and/or store was disgusting, too disgusting for her to bare.

I encouraged her to finish the pay period and then talk with them about her concerns with school, she did not want to.  I then attempted to convince her to at least finish the schedule and suggested that maybe she could better tolerate her personal issues with her working environment once she got her first pay check, again NO!  I finally said that if she was certain that it was not a good fit and she was determined to quit then call first thing in the morning and explain why she would not be returning.  She did and she states that she was thanked for calling and letting them know.

Now I’m struggling with how I handled the situation.  I attempt to prepare my children for the real world and I’m not sure that I did this in this situation.  In the adult world, is it that easy to quit a job or should it be?  Should I have given her the “in the real world” talk?  Should I make this a teachable moment?  Or should I support her decisions and continue to encourage her keep looking for suitable employment?

The other reason I struggle is because I blog, study, and breath personal finance.  I feel like I should be living the example and demonstrating what I want my children to learn about responsibility and money management.  Therefor, because I would never walk away from my employment (unless I already had something else) nor quit something because of how uncomfortable it was, I’m uncomfortable with not encouraging or maybe demanding her to do the same.

Additionally, I’m a firm believer in when the going gets tough, the tough gets going.  I’m living proof.  In high school, I had a child, maintained the honor roll, was in the National Honor Society, and worked!  I took 5 classes for three semesters to graduate in 2008, with three children, and a job.  I entered grad school with three little children and a full time job.  One semester I had to complete an internship at night so I literally worked from 7:30 to 5:30 pm and then went to an intern at a mental health facility from 6:00 pm to 12:00 am for an entire semester.  I now work a full time, 2 side hustles, and blog.  My ish is tough, so I’ve gotten tougher.  But is that unrealistic for her.

I often struggle with traits of my own that my children lack.  I internalize it, and feel that I’m insufficient.  I get hard on myself to feel better about what I think are their inadequacies.  This may very well be one of those moments.  Maybe I’m more upset that I didn’t have the opportunity to teach her more about money management.  I don’t know.

I am very proud of her.  She was determined to get a job and she got one!  She is standing for what she thinks is of more value which is her education, and I agree.  Finally, she still does want to work, and is diligently putting in applications for weekend employment, so no disappointment there.

So valued GDTH readers, what do you think?  What would you have done?  Would you have handled the situation differently?


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I'm a mother to five children, wife, full time worker and now blogger! I would like share my family's journey to financial freedom, life living, and eternal happiness...just one goal at a time!

10 thoughts on “Mommy and Money Issues: Series 1”

  1. This is an AWESOME teaching moment. I think there should always be an option to leave a job that makes us uncomfortable; however, we don’t get those choices because we are not prepared financially. Give her a scenario or explain from experience why people stay in jobs that are stressful and sickening. How having your finances in order givestatus you the option of walking away from any situation. I just read an awesome story last night that I will DM u on twitter that shows what happens when our girls are financially unprepared and it leaves no options. Explain that just because the option was available now doesn’t mean it will be in the future if she is not financially prudent. I think you’ve gotten yourself into a pretty awesome teaching moment with her so don’t be hard on yourself!

    1. Hello Latoya!
      I took all your advice and we had a great conversation of the luxury provided when you have a savings that allows you to get yourself out of stressful situations which can sometimes include a job!
      Thanks for reading and commenting

  2. I LOVE your honesty! I think it is hard to raise kids as a driven, independent woman. Of course you would want those same things in your daughter – but it sounds like she got a lot of your wisdom and business sense already! She noticed a bad time investment and walked away. That takes guts. You can turn this around and reward her for making a great decision, pointing out what qualities she used to get to her decision and help steer her to a more suitable job? I think you are on the right track. Unfortunately (and sometimes fortunately), our kids are not mini-me’s.

    1. Hello Haley,
      Welcome!! I did express how proud of her I was for being mature enough to recognize the importance of her education and leaving a bad environment. I do admit that she has some of my qualities, I just expect her to be just like me.
      Thanks so much for reading and commenting.

  3. As parents we always think of how we could have handled situations differently. A few weeks ago my mom paid my son $20 to clean her yard because she hurt her knee. I thought of it as a good way to learn about employment. I let him clean her yard for money, but the whole time the thought that he should have done it for free kept niggling at me. It was already too late, he already did it for money. In most teaching moments there are at least two lessons. As parents we just have to figure out which was the lesson to teach at that moment. You were supportive of her decision, that is great. This won’t be her only job, or the first job she quits. At least she had good reasons for her decision. Next time you can teach her about sticking it out, or two week notices, etc.

    1. Hello Rachel!
      Welcome to GDTH! I agree with you and the situation with your son I would’ve struggled with that as well. Since her mind was already made up and it’s over and done with now, I think I’ll emphasize the importance of being in a position where she can walk away from stressful situations and not worry by having a savings. In the future, I will better stress the importance of proper notices, refraining from “burning bridges” and sticking it out.
      Thanks for reading and commenting.

  4. I didn’t want to read the comments because I didn’t want to be influenced by what other people said. I think that was a pretty short amount of time to decide if a job wasn’t working or not, especially since she is new to the working world and life is going to be filled with jobs that don’t always tick off every box. But I think you agree. It’s so tough because she is over 18 I’m assuming?, so technically an adult. I know I wasn’t too receptive to my parents at that age. I thought I knew it all. So it’s tough. I think maybe if you don’t agree and she asks why, I’d tell her, but other than that she might have to learn some lessons the good old fashioned hard way. Perhaps if she asks for money you can bring up why you won’t give her any? I lived through my brother doing the same thing, but then he would just ask my dad for money and he would give it to him. Uh, bad news! So I’m kind of torn…

    1. Hello Tonya!
      No BG is only 16. I do agree that it was such a short time to make a decision but I do recognize that she had valid points. I do wish she would have made a longer commitment but I support her decision of not allowing her current work schedule interfere with her junior year classes. I think I’ll become more worried about what you’re saying if I see that she is developing a pattern of leaving jobs. But I will definitely use her quitting as a reminder of the importance of having a job or savings as well as a motivator.
      Thanks for reading and commenting.

  5. I don’t think people should stay in jobs they’re not happy in. Especially if she said her managers were not supportive. Having a good boss and good co-workers are so important. You may not like everyone, but you should be at least be happy with most of them. Let her find a job she feels happy in. I would step in only if this type of quitting becomes a habit.
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    1. Hello Jaime!
      I agree with you and her. I’m probably struggling because 1) she made the decision on her own (which is a great thing but something I’m not ready for) and 2) because I don’t want her thinking that quoting is the solution to every job she doesn’t like. I don’t think it will be a habit but I didn’t even want it to be an option.
      Thanks for reading and commenting!

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