Choosing a mate these days has become so effortless. This “microwave society” that provides just about everything instantly is partial to blame. With online dating sites and social media DM’s, it hard to know exactly who the person you’re talking to really is. Whether you’ve met your mate in person, or via the internet there are 5 money habits in a mate that need to be avoided or addressed as soon as possible.
5 Money Habits to Avoid in Mates
1. Impulse Buyers
Impulse buyers usually make big purchases randomly, unexpectedly, and usually without any logical explanation. Such purchases may include new cars, boats, RV’s or more. Impulse buyers may also make reasonable purchases, such as clothes, but spend excessively. Impulse buyers may also partake in random trips that can be costly without planning and may even invite you along.
It’s difficult to know if impulse buyers are spending cash or credit on such big purchases. Either way, if spending cash, the cash will not be around long and if paying credit…run! Just kidding!
2. Big spenders or Ballers
Very similar to impulse buyers, mates that are big spenders spend excessive amounts of money the majority of the time. Specific behaviors, in addition to those listed above, include VIP services at the clubs, excessive dining out at expensive restaurants with crowds of people, and/or shopping trips with lots of purchases and/or purchases for friends or family.
Again, it may be difficult to know if the “baller” is spending cash or credit. If you’re the mate to the big spender and receiving the benefits then it may not appear as a “warning sign” but it can be.
Lenders or enablers are a bit different, but still people should raise concerns. Lenders/ enablers may be financially responsible, have good credit, and savings. They may pay bills on time and make mature financial decisions. However, they may continue to lend money or enable family members or friends financially. Continuously lending huge amounts of money or supporting someone’s life style can become a finical strain.
Dating a lender/or enabler, I feel is the most difficult. As the mate you are placed in a compromising situation. You may be aware that your mate is being taken advantage but how do you tell him or her to stop taking care of or lending money to his mother, sister, niece, or adult child?
Avoiders will usually avoid their financial responsibility. Specifically, avoiding debt collector phone calls and avoiding opening bill statements. This group may also avoid paying certain bills to either make impulse purchases, spend big time, or lend money. Additionally, avoiders may also be avoiding financial responsibility because they can not afford it, even though employed.
Avoiders may be the easiest to confront about their habits and convince to a make financially responsible decisions.
5. Debt Believers
Like the name, debt believers, believe that debt should exist, it’s okay to have debt, and everyone has it or should have it. Do not believe this. Usually the “debt believers” will contain all the qualities above because they see nothing wrong their habits. Debt believers may also be living way beyond their means and also think that it is okay.
You may have noticed one or all of the signs above and wondering what to do now? If you have noticed any of these 5 warning signs in your mate then it may be time to make a serious decision about the future and how it may be effected by these traits. If you feel that the mate is worth continuing to be with or you are already married then a serious conversation may be necessary. Below are some techniques to facilitate that conversation.
How To: Financial Conversation
The below tips should be kept in mind when having the financial conversation. It’s important to keep an open mind to try and understand your mates relationship with money, as well as being able to offer advice. Additionally, avoid jumping to conclusions when it comes to this conversation. There are several books, youtube videos, and blog post that address talking about money with your mate.
- Open body language
- “I feel” or “I think” statements as opposed to blaming or defensive “you” statements
- being respectful
- Listening carefully and reiterating what you heard to ensure clear understanding.
Have you ever dated anyone in the above categories? How did that go?